P.S. I love you..

After 12 years of formal schooling, I have seen people meet, hate each other, like each other, love each other, get into a relationship, and then, unfortunately, get out of it. There is this friend of mine who “loved” a girl for two long years before he “got” her, then stayed together for a year and then, recently broke up. There is another friend of mine who hasn’t seen the girl he loves for 2 whole years but still insists that he does, and trust me HE DOES. Then I know girls who have hidden their feelings behind a smile for seasons together, just to see the guys they love happy. Love can be mushy, bittersweet, tiring, painful, etc. But it’s love, so never mind.

I had never been able to wrap my head around the entire concept of “love. But that was until, I met a couple.

When I do a bit of soul searching an ask myself “Why I thought of writing this?” I have but one reply, “Oh c’mon, they are perfect.”

This weekend, I met the perfect couple. PERFECT.

And when I asked them what love is all about, this is what they said:

”Love is something that makes one feel that life is perfect. One forgets all pains. One bears all troubles. One endures all storms. One does everything he can. One smiles. That’s the power of love.

It is like your life revolves around a central point. It is like you find the focus of your existence.

You wish you could be with them 24X7, 365, and you still want more of them. That's love.

You were having a rave party on the outskirts of the city and on your way home the police catches you drunk and driving, and right when you think that nothing can save you and you have screwed up big time, your sober friend on the passenger seat owns up and takes the blame, goes through a lot of trouble, while you stay free.
When in love, you want to be that ‘friend on the passenger seat’. That is love

You have Rs.5 as your cell phone balance and just because you want to hear her voice, you spend every penny you have (even go into negative balance) and don’t think about it once with regret. That’s love.

When you, dreamless for 5 years, see the face of the person of your dreams, in your dreams, standing barefoot in the sand, underneath a clear blue sky and her face lit up by the sun, its love.

When you feel twice as awkward as she does when you introduce her to your friends, it’s stupid, and it’s love.

When you promise something out of the way and then end up doing something out of the way just to ensure that you fulfill your promise, its love.

When you see a smile on the face of that special person, and you wish to hold on to that moment forever, its love.

When you are in the balcony, and the sky is twilight, and the moon has just started to shine bright, and you are on the phone with your special one, and you tell him "this is the best moment of the day" its love.

When you want to die immediately just because “I always wanted to die this happy” its love.

And when it is love, well, it is love”

Sounds great.
God Bless Us!!
;-)

*ting*.

Someone...

Well, this isn't my creation. This is what someone wrote about someone. And as soon as i read this, i knew that I was posting it here. What if it isn't mine? It's from the heart and, well, that's all that matters. To someone, wish i could write as well.

It’s the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you. When it hits you, I mean really hits you, all these thoughts and questions rush through your head at once. A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly inch by inch as you start to wonder. What if for some reason things don’t work out? - How are you possibly going to live without them? Someone that was once a stranger, now is the only person you know like the back of your hand. Someone you once had no emotions for, now has the power to break your heart. Someone you never used to hang out with, now owns most of your time. Someone you never thought you’d care about, now owns your entire life. Someone you once lived without, you now wish to hold onto forever.

That Sinking Feeling

I walk for a minute,
It feels like a mile.
That sinking feeling
’s been around for a while.

Life is scattered;
Torn pages.
Somewhere within’
Fury rages.

Places and faces, zip me by.
Memories return, in the blink of an eye.
Move on, I must, and so I try.
And as I fail, I stop, and cry.

I cry out loud,
but then, no one hears.
This is worse
Than the worst of my fears.

I know not what,
Causes me grief.
Though it shouldn’t,
Pain brings relief.

You, me, us.
I can’t correlate.
My being suffers,
My soul suffocates.

A simmering storm,
Is in my mind.
Heart and soul
In perpetual grind.

In pain I stand,
Laughing away.
This sinking feeling,
It’s here to stay.

Town To City: Life In A Metro!

Town to city. A small, sleepy, boring place where the only bustling areas were the main markets; to the largest city in the country, full of life, full of people buzzing , moving, running, never ending. It’s a geographical distance of 1600 km, a mental distance of a million more miles. That is how far I’ve come- Siliguri to Delhi.

Problems, I had in plenty. I had new friends to make, new place to adjust in, new people to accommodate and new city to live; and all of this without parents.

My father once told me, “Not all fingers are same in length, but when they bend, they all stand equal; life becomes easy when one bends to adjust to all situations.”
I took it to heart and tried to adjust as much as possible.

Friends were easy to make, given my extrovert nature. I was strong willed enough, to accommodate new people and slowly, with the passage of time I started to enjoy living in this megacity.

9 months have passed, since I shifted base to New Delhi. These 9 months have changed me quite a lot. Not enough for you to see, but enough for me to feel it. I had come here with a certain excitement within me. I had a spring in my steps, a smile on my face, jolly good song on my lips, a sparkle in my eyes. All that’s lost now, under the layers of adjustment I have added to my being. My highly adaptable nature tends to go against me. My only fear is that at some point of time in the near future, I might just end up losing my overall self due to the adjustments; something I don’t want to happen, ever. The mirror doesn’t show much of a difference but whenever I look inside me, I see frustration building up. "Dil walon ki Dilli", isn’t exactly so. Actually, I won’t think twice before calling it heartless. People are headstrong, confident, self obsessed. They claim to have big hearts, but have big egos instead. The wide roads are polar opposite to the narrow mindset of people. The greenery around seems insignificant to the darkness in people.

But just when everything starts to go wrong, a voice inside me says that despite all its flaws, Delhi is not all that bad. It’s visually beautiful and if one looks at the right places, one may very easily find genuinely good people. These people are the only ones who keep my life worthwhile. People here are emotional and tend to get easily attached to you(very deeply, at times). And this has both its positive and negative effects.

These 9 months have taught me more than the rest of my life put together. I have met so many different people. I have learnt to communicate to my benefit. I have learnt to put up a certain level of pretence in my daily life to keep my cards close to my chest for extensive periods of time. Now I differentiate better (both people and scientific variables.)

I find detaching myself from people easier I know the limit till which I may open up. I might have lost a little bit of stability, but have grown on grounds of mental strength.

Rockstar: Love is Divine!!!

ROCKSTAR (U/A)
Director:Imtiaz Ali
Cast: Ranbir Kapoor, Nargis Fakhri, Kumud Mishra, Shammi Kapoor.


"Udhar, yahaan se bahot door. Galat aur sahi ke paar. Ek maidan hai..........wahin milunga main tujhe." - Rumi

Imtiaz Ali's modern-day epic begins and ends with the afore mentioned lines.

The movie starts in spectacular style with Jordan, the rockstar, being chased onn the streets of Prague and then kicking off a concert to a tremendous response from the audience. From here on, the movie works in flashback, with the main plotline revvolving around a yong Delhi-Jaat boy Janardhan Jakhar(JJ) and his ambition/dream/hope/wish/desire of becoming a rockstar. Someone as big as Jim Morrison, if not bigger. The manager of his college canteen tells him(perhaps in jest) "Toote hue dil se hi sangeet nikalta hai" (True music emerges only from a broken heart). JJ takes him a little too seriously and pursues Heer, the college bombshell, in order to get his heart broken. The plot evolves with the friendship of the young couple and their separation, how JJ(now Jordan) loses control over his life and how he gets it back. The climax, to say the least, is magical. And i am speechless.

Imtiaz Ali proves once again that he is the undisputed Baadshah of love-stories. No one knows, understands and depicts love the way he does. Socha Na Tha, Jab We Met, Love Aaj Kal and Rockstar. Four movies from the genius, four movies from another world. Outstanding.

Nargis Fakhri, as Heer, is spell-bindingly beautiful. You just want to see her. On and on. For ever and ever. Yeah, THAT beautiful. And even though her dialogues are ni=ot quite up to the mark, the effort she has put into the role deserves appreciation..

The true Rockstar of the movie though, is Ranbir Kapoor. His portrayal of JJ/ Jordan is outstanding, amazing, awesome and simply brilliant. He has dissolved himself in the soul of the character and how well he has acted can be judged from the fact that when you see the movie, you do not see R.K., u see only JJ/Jordan. The evolution of the character has been beautifully depicted by Ranbir. R.K. is going to be remembered for Rockstar. For Long, very long. Mesmerizing. Extra-ordinary.

The movie has a beautiful background scores and really soulful numbers from the king himself, A.R. Rahman.The songs are so good that they almost single handedly carry the movie forward.

Dialogues are crisp. Editing is crisper.

Overall, Rockstar is a movie with a soul.. If your heart beats for someone, Rockstar will make it beat faster. Its been an hour since i left the movie theatre and sat down to write this but, i am still speechless, dumbstruck, amazed by sheer cinematic genius. Guys and gals, a MUST WATCH!!!

Post Boards Blues

Class 10 was a pain. A year of endless studies. A year of innumerable failed attempts to solve mind-boggling mathematical problems. A year, which held five full term examinations for the students of my (ex)school. Out of the twelve calendar months there were five months of examinations, three months off, for preparations, two months of vacations and only two months of classes. Such a schedule could have sapped anyone dry but here I am, fit and fine, up and running, my boards all over and a whole new life ahead of me.

But as I plan to leave Siliguri, I look back upon the years I have spent in this town and the thorough enjoyment that I have had as a resident of this place. It was thirteen years back, in 1998, that I first came two this sleepy town at the foothills of the Himalayas and I have loved every moment I have spent here. School had become an integral part of my life and now as I think of leaving it in order to broaden my future prospects I feel nostalgic of all the moments I spent with my friends laughing about the incidents of the day before and ruminating over future possibilities of the humorous kind. The lunch breaks in which my friends and I used to play some sweet football will always stay embedded in my memory. The school field was amongst the largest in Siliguri. A sprawling belt of green with goal posts at regulated intervals was the centre of our footballing activities. The enormous size of the field can be depicted by the fact that it was large enough to accommodate four football fields, two cricket pitches with full boundaries and a volleyball court. The edges of the field were cemented as if meant to be sit upon and that is what we used to do sometimes when we were not sweating it our on the football field. This was our very own version of the classic Bengali adda. Topics of discussion would range from politics to Sunday’s cricket match, from exams to marks and from love, to life in general. These conversations on the most serious of topics were made jovial by the brilliant sense of humour that we possessed. At times we would be seen guffawing for extensive periods of time and when sanctioned by teachers we would include them in the revelry and ensure that no one left without a smile on their lips. Sitting on the first bench in classes and still continuously chattering to friends about love and life despite being literally under the nose of the teacher was always so much fun.

An injury to a friend would concern all of us and it would be amazing to see how the fellow who had only just cracked a joke at the injured guy would be the first to rush to the infirmary and inform the nurse of the pain his friends was in.

We were a tolerant and non-violent group of fun loving students. Most of our time was spent poking fun at each other but never would anyone mind such good spirited jokes made on him. None of it was taken seriously. It was all meant to be fun and what fun it was. None of us would fight anyone. Quarrels there would be and people would also hold grudges against each other (though for the silliest of reasons) but never would anyone of us participate in a physical fight. At times some of us would show tendencies to get involved in a fight but the group used to be there in order to calm him down and talk sense into him.

Now in Delhi, I am still trying to acclimatise myself to the place and its work culture, which I find way different from what people follow in Bengal. I have been meeting locals and trying to know them and their mindset better and I have found a diverse variety of people here in Delhi.

Here I see a truly cosmopolitan environment with people from all parts of India and all walks of life mixed and mingled amazingly but truly speaking, this is where the true beauty of Delhi lies.

I’ll miss Siliguri, no doubts about that. And I’ll miss my friends a lot more as they were the ones who made Siliguri really special for me. And as I leave the least I can say is that although I may reside in Delhi henceforth, but my heart shall always stay in Silla.

Robert Frost expresses my feelings better in his poem “Stopping by woods on a Snowy Evening”

“ The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.”

Fear of NO!!!!

All through my life i have seen numerous examples of people afraid, or rather terrified of having to hear a "no" from someone...............

A tribute to all such people.........

There's the wind, blowing outside
Through the leaves, of the trees
Feel free, let it ruffle your hair
Close your eyes and feel the breeze.

See the clouds, emerge from nowhere
Come in numbers and cover the sun
The darkness here, will fade away
As long as you and me are one.

The clouds have suddenly grown darker
And now it has started to rain
I look at you, enjoying the weather
Within me I feel an unknown pain

The drizzle has turned into a shower
The shower has drenched, both you and me
My feelings for you are both true and deep
Then why, O! Why can't you see?

I ain't no coward, but fear to tell you
The fear of 'NO' keeps me in check
But being away from you has turned me
Into an irreparable wreck

Can't sit as stone, can't wait forever
The pain within me I cannot bear
Tell you, will I? never, O! Never
'Cause its your 'NO' that I fear

Soon the clouds faded away
The sun emerged, we bid goodbyes
And as we parted, I couldn't believe it
I felt a tear, drop from my eyes

I let her go, for my fear of 'NO'
I fear that still, I haven't let go
But to fear, those who dare
Are the ones, who really care

Care for those, whom they love
Whom they can't see leave or go
It is for them, and only them
That me and my like, fear a 'NO'